Who am I to blog?
I have no idea if I’m qualified to host a blog. I don’t know if anyone will read it. I don’t even know what to write, but I’m doing it anyway. I’m one who tends to get caught up in matters of credentials and I often crave external validation of my own capabilities and worth. So naturally, I’m asking myself “Who am I to blog?” Well, I’m Sarah. Hi and welcome to the Swaddled blog!
A wise woman once told me that the criterion for calling oneself a writer is that one writes. That’s pretty clear, right? No specifications around what or how much is written, no need for said writing to be published anywhere. The only requirement is that something is written. Today I’m extrapolating that definition and going out on a limb to call myself a blogger. I’m writing this blog entry, so I write blogs, which makes me a blogger. True? Maybe, maybe not. Regardless, here’s what I do know: I have thoughts, sometimes I have words, and I definitely have feelings. I hope that perhaps in my writing and your reading those thoughts, words and feelings, that we’ll connect. Whether our experiences and views are similar or different, my wish is that we’ll unite and offer that connection to others. In doing so, my dream is to create a virtual blanket, a secure and warm place to consider and to share. So, here it goes.
My question of qualification to blog spurs the memory of my question of qualification to mother. I suppose any one of us could and can do either. My interest, of course, is in doing what I do well. That’s my hang up. I don’t want to do things just to do them. I’m too much of a firstborn for that game. For the better or the worse, my game is always a competitive one. Oftentimes I’m my own opponent. Performance matters to me, and I tend to care less about others’ analysis of my performance than I do my critique of myself. And that’s where things can get murky, dark and downright ugly. If this sounds intense, please know that I’ve softened significantly over the decades. I guess I could label myself a recovering firstborn.
I’d love to dissect (biology major here) these tendencies to rate ourselves using self-imposed metrics that we believe are relevant on whatever bases. Here, in this blog, I will speak the truth even when – especially when – it’s awkward, painful or risky. It’s taken me some years to get to this preference and now I want to have the difficult conversations. You’ll quickly learn that I’m a sucker for quotes, so I can’t help calling out the great Socrates (also a philosophy major) and his claim that “The unexamined life is not worth living.” I couldn’t agree more. Looking directly at our fears without protective lenses sure can burn. But by looking closely at something, really inspecting it, we empower ourselves to affect it. So, let’s get uncomfortable, let’s be real, and let’s be brave. Let’s do it for each other. I’ll admit it if you admit it. Deal? And let’s have some fun along the way. “Fun” meaning lots of things, the spectrum of emotions. Let’s FEEL!
Hugs!